I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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