youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
