Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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