Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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