I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
