it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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