You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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