operation have a gay friend backfired
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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