one might say we're banned from that church
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
