she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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