did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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