So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
