At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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