hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
