I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
