I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
