He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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