I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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