Only a mothe r could love this liver
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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