we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
