You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
