i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
