Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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