yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
