eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
