i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
