and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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