I hope mine doesn't look like that
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
