Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
