Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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