Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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