That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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