ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
