Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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