I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Jerry, you need to find god
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
