so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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