I'll bet she douches with gravy.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
