This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
