is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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