Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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