I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
