He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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