I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
