you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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