I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
