I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
