well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize