The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't think brook has ever known best
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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