Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
