After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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