Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
