If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
