Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
